As many of you know, I work as an oncology RN at UofL Hospital and I love my job. I have the most amazing coworkers on earth and care for the bravest and most courageous people I will ever meet. Oncology is what I am supposed to be doing; I don't know any other way of putting it besides it just fits. It has been especially hard lately though. Many of my patients are losing the fight, and at times when I am making my drive home from work, I find myself saying, can I keep doing this forever? Can I continue to treat with no results? Can I continue to say goodbye? Recently I read an article entitled "Living Until You Die," and it was like it was written for me to read in this moment. It reminded me of why I do what I do and why I need to continue. It reminded me that even when things seem like they will never be better, there is always hope.....
having hope.. first, we hope for a cure. we hope the treatment we give will work and this monster will go away. then hope for control. maybe a hope to "live with cancer." then there's hope for time. time to finish business, meet a grandchild, graduate college, leave a legacy. then there's hope for comfort. that this process will end easily and pain free. then, we hope to remember, and once again, hope for a cure.
I pray one day there will be a cure, and until then, I will continue to hope.
1 comment:
When my grandma had her treatment for breast cancer, it was the people like you who made her time better. You know the tests and treatments are not fun. You have a chance to make the lives of these people better for a little while. My grandma grew very close to the nurses she saw regularly. She would talk about her nurses as if they were fmaily. This made the process so much easier for her and our family. I don't know what we would have done without all the kind doctors and nurses.
I can't understand how hard it must be to put so much time a effort into helping people only to see them not make it through. Your job is one I could not handle. However, the world needs people like you that can handle it. Cancer patients need people like you that they can count on and befriend when they are going through the toughest part of life. Hopefully, you can remember this when you start feeling like everything is against you. You have made a big difference in many peoples' lives,,,,if only for a little while.
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